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RULES FOR WRITERS
- Verbs HAS to agree with their
subjects.
- Prepositions are not words to end
sentences with.
- And don't start a sentence with a
conjunction.
- It is wrong to ever split an
infinitive.
- Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're
old hat)
- Also, always avoid annoying
alliteration.
- Be more or less specific.
- Parenthetical remarks (however
relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
- Also too, never, ever use repetitive
redundancies.
- No sentence fragments.
- Contractions aren't necessary and
shouldn't be used.
- Foreign words and phrases are not
apropos.
- Do not be redundant; do not use more
words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
- One should NEVER generalize.
- Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
- Don't use no double negatives.
- Eschew ampersands &
abbreviations, etc.
- One-word sentences? Eliminate.
- Analogies in writing are like
feathers on a snake.
- The passive voice is to be ignored.
- Eliminate commas, that are, not
necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
- Never use a big word when a
diminutive one would suffice.
- Kill all exclamation points!!!
- Use words correctly, irregardless of
how others use them.
- Understatement is always the
absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
- Use the apostrophe in it's proper
place and omit it when its not needed.
- Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo
Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
- If you've heard it once, you've
heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a
million can use it correctly.
- Puns are for children, not groan
readers.
- Go around the barn at high noon to
avoid colloquialisms.
- Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it
should be derailed.
- Who needs rhetorical questions?
- Exaggeration is a billion times
worse than understatement.
- Proofread carefully to see if you
any words out.
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